Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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