When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
