Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
