This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
