I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
