PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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