You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
