your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
