He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just had sex on a roof
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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