if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
