Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
