if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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