Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Randomize
