I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
