Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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