I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
there is glitter all over my balls
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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