it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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