pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
