Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
