He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
