Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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