dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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