It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
