whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
