Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
