Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
