At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
