I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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