When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
