Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
