Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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