They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
