yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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