dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
