i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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