She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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