just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
