she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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