Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
