On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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