sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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