Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
