Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
