To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
