I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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