I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
