hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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