So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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