I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
