I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
