you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
