i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
