between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's just like the Real World with babies
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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